Being a field guide to the creatures you meet on your journeys through the worlds of insurance, consulting and technology.
Catalogued by Jonathan Roomer
Chartered Actuary, co-founder, AI enthusiast and reluctant socialiserActuary, co-founder, AI enthusiast and reluctant socialiser
London · MMXXVI
A note before the plates
Some years ago I wrote that the thing life insurers should fear most wasn't a big tech company. It was Pokémon Go. A game had got millions of people walking more by sending them out after monsters that nobody else could see. I called them invisible monsters.
I've since found plenty of others. They turn up in pricing models, board packs, inboxes and incentive schemes, usually at the point where a system that works perfectly on paper meets an actual person.
I've been meeting them for most of my career: as an actuary, as an adviser to more than two hundred startups, and as a co-founder of a company that set out to make insurance something people actually engage with. This guide covers the ones I've managed to catalogue so far. Select any plate to read its entry.
J. R.
The plates
The Pool of One
Latin name
Solitarius premium
Rarity
Epic
Habitat
Pricing teams with excellent data and the best of intentions.
Diet
Cross-subsidy. It removes the “we” from insurance one sensible decision at a time.
Field marks
Every pricing decision is fairer than the one before. Together they leave each customer in a pool of their own.
Status
Growing as the data improves.
Handling
Ask where the “we” went. Nobody will have removed it deliberately.
Field note
Insurance began as the loveliest idea we ever had: if it goes wrong for you, the rest of us cover it. Price every person precisely for their own risk and you eventually end up with a bowl containing one fish. Perfectly reasonable, and also no longer insurance.
The Step-Counting Hound
Latin name
Canis pedometricus
Rarity
Common
Habitat
Wellness incentive schemes, especially the ones that reward steps.
Diet
Reward points earned on somebody else's behalf.
Field marks
A very high step count, an owner whose health hasn't changed and a remarkably fit dog.
Status
Found wherever an incentive can be gamed.
Handling
Leave the data alone and read it carefully.
Field note
People read the rules, spot the incentive and find the easiest way to collect it. We usually log the dog as an error. I think it's the most honest data in the set, because it shows what the scheme really rewards rather than what the brochure says it rewards.
The Silent Customer
Latin name
Testudo tacita
Rarity
Rare
Habitat
Accounts that never complain.
Diet
Unanswered surveys and unopened newsletters.
Field marks
No complaints, no praise and no replies. Often mistaken for a happy customer.
Status
Seldom recorded, though far more common than the records suggest.
Handling
Start a conversation, even an awkward one. A customer who complains still cares enough to argue.
Field note
I think of feedback in three kinds: the good, the bad and the silent. The silent kind is the one to worry about. Small niggles turn into major annoyances, major annoyances end relationships, and the first thing you hear from this creature is often a notice of non-renewal.
The Report Worm
Latin name
Documentum perpetuum
Rarity
Common
Habitat
Any organisation with more than twelve people and a shared drive.
Diet
Time, attention and the phrase “for visibility”.
Field marks
Nobody can remember who asked for it. It grows a new segment every quarter.
Status
Breeding fast, now that AI can produce one in seconds.
Handling
Ask which decision it feeds. If there isn't one, stop sending it and see whether anybody notices.
Field note
When I look at a team's work, I start with what it produces rather than the job descriptions. For every output, who uses it and what do they do with it? A surprising number of reports have recipients but no readers. You can automate those, but deleting them is quicker.
The Post-Box
Latin name
Homo intermediarius
Rarity
Rare
Habitat
Organisations that rolled out AI without much thought for the people using it.
Diet
Machine-generated output, received and forwarded, mostly unread.
Field marks
Frequently heard saying “please see below”, “looping in” and “as discussed”.
Status
Early, and entirely preventable.
Handling
Give it back some judgement to exercise.
Field note
Most AI conversations focus on technology, governance and efficiency. Far fewer ask how it feels to the people expected to work alongside it, and that mix of excitement and anxiety matters. The risk I worry about most is people ending up as post-boxes for whatever the machine produced.
The Wantrepreneur
Latin name
Pavo pitchdeckus
Rarity
Common
Habitat
Networking events, demo days and, increasingly, a single afternoon with an AI.
Diet
Conviction, and the occasional follow-up meeting.
Field marks
A magnificent tail of slides, each with a line going up and to the right. No customers yet.
Status
Multiplying, now that a convincing deck costs almost nothing to make.
Handling
Ask for evidence rather than enthusiasm, and in particular what customers have done as well as said.
Field note
I've advised more than two hundred startups and co-founded two companies. The founders who got somewhere could show that somebody else believed in the idea, ideally somebody who had paid for it. The deck was usually the least interesting part.
The Confident Model
Latin name
Psittacus certissimus
Rarity
Common
Habitat
Every laptop, since about December 2022.
Diet
Prompts, praise and your own opinions, returned with better formatting.
Field marks
Fluent and agreeable. Occasionally wrong in a very convincing way.
Status
Abundant, and most useful when kept in pairs.
Handling
Introduce a second specimen, ask each what's wrong with the other's answer and stand well back.
Field note
One model on its own will agree with almost anything. So I keep several, give them personas in a particularly feisty mood, and let them pull each other's reasoning apart while I referee. Whatever is still standing at the end is usually worth having.
The Claim That Never Happened
Latin name
Eventus nonfactus
Rarity
Legendary
Habitat
Systematic efforts at prevention and conservation.
Diet
Nothing at all.
Field marks
Discovered by S Huebner in 1927.
Status
Probably the most valuable creature in insurance, and very hard to photograph.
Handling
Find an honest way to count what didn't happen before trying to take credit for it.
Field note
The dream is insurance that stops the bad thing happening instead of paying for it afterwards. The trouble is that the better it works, the harder it is to prove it did anything at all. It's the subject of my ITC Vegas keynote, The Claim That Never Happened.
The Jonathan
Latin name
Actuarius londiniensis
Rarity
Legendary (self-assessed and highly disputed)
Habitat
London, by way of South Africa. Mostly insurance, startups, keynotes, and occasionally a lecture theatre at universities.
Diet
Spreadsheets, fantasy novels and awkward questions.
Field marks
Asks what everyone else is assuming. Can pronounce “Witwatersrand” at the first attempt.
Status
Chartered Fellow of the Institute and Faculty of Actuaries. Co-founded YuLife and built its customer organisation across three continents. Previously led KPMG's Tech Growth team. Known to end conversations at parties.
Handling
Mostly harmless.
Field note
This specimen couldn't be pinned for illustration. It was last seen heading away from a conversation.